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"Men and women", I.Didkovska

Why we are so different, but so necessary for each other
On the beginning of 3d millennium as on the beginning of time we still know a little about the relationships between man and woman. And we try to find pieces of knowledge on the fields of family battles.
This booklet is dedicated to all men and women that appeared in the situation when they cry to his or her partner "Why you do not understand me?"
Mutual understanding disappears. Men can not understand why women do not behave themselves as a men and vice versa.
Men differs from women but it does not mean that one sex is better than other.
From the one hand, the differences are obvious. Biologists know that fact. From the other hand, contemporary life shows us that men and women have equal possibilities, they both are talanted and can to master different professions. It is obviously, that each thesis is true. Potential possibilities are the same, but the ways of the realization of them are different. Equality does not mean identity.
Without any doubts, men and women are equal, but also they are different.
But we can see the good side in these differences: if you can understand the origin of the differences, you can use them for your relationships, you can find them even rather attractive.
Men want to have a power, success and sex. Women tend to warm relationships, stability and love. It is senselessly to take offence on this as it is senselessly to take offence on the rain. If we accept the fact of the rain we can take an umbrella. In the same way knowing the fact of the possibilities of misunderstanding and conflicts can help us to predict and to prevent them. And this is the first step towards relationships that suit for both partners.
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"Human rights on the different stages of family life", O.Kurilenkо

First memories may be of each person are connected with family.

"It is necessary to provide protection and assistance to the family as to the main part of the society and natural surrounding for the growing and well-being of all it's members, especially children, in order the family can fully realize it's duties in the society" (From the Preamble of UNO Convention of children rights)

According to the principles of the UNO Status recognition of the dignity, equal and inalienable rights of all members of the society are the basis for the guaranteeing of the freedom, justice and peace on the Earth. Good and warm memories about the family - is the great support for the person during all life.
Family - is a complex system of the relationships. Each family member has his/her own place, function and satisfies not only his/her own needs but also the needs of other family members. Realization or violation of the rights of each family member connected just with the fulfillment or not of his or her functions.

"I Am a Woman…I Am Scared?", M. Veselovska, N.Shyshlova. This brochure was published with support of the UNIFEM Fund, 1998

This brochure tells us about violations of human rights in the family and violence against women. The brochure gives some examples and provides advice on how to prevent such incidents and where to seek help once they have occurred. This brochure is an attempt to help a person who is suffering as a result of insult, aggressiveness or violence. We provide information on how to protect oneself, one's dignity and rights.
We wish that misfortune would never happen to you, but once it did, let out advice on how to protect yourself be useful for you. The most important thing is not to be left alone with the trouble. Seek for help and support. Find like-minded people, experienced lawyers, psychologists and social workers, which will help you to break the bonds of violence. Remember, you have the right to live freely and safely, not fearing; you have the right to be happy. Keep in mind - no matter who helps you - the person who is most interested in your rescue is you.
Do not give up but act!
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"I Am a Woman, I Am Scared, I Can!" K. Babenko, I. Didkovska. This booklet was published with support of the UNIFEM Fund, 1998

What one has to know about violence?
Who can become a victim of violence?
What can you do to decrease the risk of becoming a victim of violence?
What can you do if you are being attacked?
Every woman, even if she is scared, can be attentive and prudent.
What you need to know about the people who use violence.
If you have become the victim of violence.
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"How Stress Influences Your Health", T. Kulbachka. This booklet was published with support of the UNIFEM Fund, 1998

Almost every woman can think of a time when she could have become or did become a victim of violence. Any kind of violence - physical, sexual or moral - makes a substantial traumatic influence not only on her life and health, but also on her attitude to self and others.
Having suffered from violence, you loose control over your fortune, belief in your abilities; you stop trusting people. Stress reaction that appear in the result of suffering from violence can drastically change your personality and behavior.
If you have become a victim of violence, remember that nothing of a kind that could change you has happened. You are still the same person, with the same virtues as you were before the incident. Don't let yourself feel guilty; don't keep telling yourself "I wish I…", "If I didn't…", "I should have…".
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"What Can We Do to Prevent Domestic Violence", V.Bondarovska. This brochure was published with support of the UNIFEM Fund, 1999

How often we become the victims of domestic violence!
We are being hurt, humiliated, isolated, yelled at or even beaten. Women and children suffer from domestic violence the most. Historically it happened that a woman has never been equal to a man in the family; she is physically weaker. A husband, who is the breadwinner, could often yell at his wife or even hit her. We are not even talking about the children. All of us often splash our aggressiveness at our children, saying such things as "I will kill you!" or "Get off my eyes!" We often play the role of a giant who can manage the life and fortune of the relatives. A woman can be forbidden to work or go out of the house and a child has no rights at all. The child's duty is to obey and to do whatever the adults say.
Can anyone feel happy under such conditions? Can we change the relations in the family, can we make equal and friendly everyone in it? Yes, we can.
This brochure provides materials on what is a totalitarian and a partner family; what rights you have as a personality and what rights other person has; how not to exceed one's power over the child; how to overcome child's fears, to teach it a safe behavior, to answer its difficult questions, to prevent child's psychological traumas.
It turned out that knowing quite simple things will help you, dear readers, to prevent domestic violence in your families, to make your lives more happy, to build partner relations between parents and children, to build harmonious relations between people of different generations.

"A Conflict: A Threat Or An Opportunity?", K. Babenko, I.Didkovska. This booklet was published with support of the Department of Press, Education and Culture of the US Embassy in Ukraine, 1999

The word "conflict" evokes negative associations for the most people.

There are several reasons why we try not to start a conflict.
• It is scary to conflict. You can ruin the relationship and loose the person who is dear and close to you.
• It is wrong to conflict. We are afraid to be labeled as a "quarrelling", "hysterical" and "unkind" person.
• The previous experience tell us that conflict hurts. Many of us have memories about the parents' quarrels and about that horrible tension that they caused. The way our parents solved their conflict is often the only model of problems resolution in the relations with other people.
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"Let's Say No to Women Discrimination in the Workplace", V. Bondarovska. This brochure was prepared and published with support of the Organization of Young Christian Women, 2001

Ukraine has joined the UN Convention on Liquidation of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women. It is stated in the Article 11 of this Convention that the member-states are obliged to take all the necessary measures for liquidation of discrimination against women in the labor market for the purpose of granting women and men equal rights for work; equal hiring opportunities; the right for free job choices; the right for job promotion; the right for equal remuneration; social security rights, in particular, pension rights; the right for health protection and for safe working conditions, including the protection of women's reproductive function.
The Constitution of Ukraine guarantees granting the basic rights such as the right for work, the right for safe working conditions, the right for equal remuneration without discrimination on the basis of sex .